What Ever Makes You Happy
by Melodrama
Summary: Hilde makes a choice for Duo's happiness... but is it the right one? 2xH, 1xR Epilogue Added
1. Tomorrow would be a new beginning.

**Whatever Makes You Happy**

Shock Horror! I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters therein.  I just like to torture them for my own amusement.  No money being made here baby.

**Chapter One**

Duo crept silently through the front door.  Glancing around, he saw that the flat was indeed in darkness, and not a sound could be heard.  He stumbled a little, as his hip caught the edge of the dining room table and he cursed softly.  He knew he shouldn't have had that last beer.

Creeping into the bedroom, his sight now adjusted to the darkness, he could make out the form curled up on the right side of the bed.  He grinned softly, stripping down to his boxer shorts, before sliding under the blankets to nestle against it.  However, as he went to wrap a propriety arm around the other body, he felt it stiffen and twist away from him.

"Ah hell, babe, did I wake you?"

"Duo, baby elephants have been known to make less noise than you." Hilde grumbled, shrugging his arm away.  "Where have you been all night?"

Duo winced, as he contemplated the fine line he might have to tread, in order to prevent sleeping on the couch.  He ran a conciliatory hand along Hilde's arm, before placing a tentative kiss on her bare shoulder.

"Err, yeah, I was having a few drinks with Heero, and we got to talking, and I just lost track of time."  He started a little, as one of Hilde's hands came up and flipped his hand away from her arm.

"You lost track of time TALKING with Heero?" Hilde gave a snort, and Duo could almost see her look of disbelief in the darkness.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow Duo, it really doesn't matter.  Go to sleep."  

Feeling slightly bewildered, Duo laid back on his side, gazing at Hilde's back.  This wasn't the first time he'd been late home, but he had never received this kind of reception before.  She was used to his nocturnal wanderings, and would often joke about it, simply threatening to have him fitted with a tracking device.  

Maybe she was just nervous.  The wedding was only four days away, after all.  God, he hoped it wasn't that time of the month.  That would add a real dampener to the wedding night.  Suppressing the urge to reach across and touch the curl of hair at the nape of her neck, Duo let out a deep sigh and tried to get some sleep.

******

Hilde didn't know how long she lay there, in the dark, listening to Duo's breathing, waiting for him to fall asleep.  She chastised herself, angry that she had been so unkind to him.  She didn't have to see his face; she could almost feel the hurt expression he had worn.  She wished she could have acted even a little more composed.    

Finally, confidant that he was sleeping soundly, Hilde slid out from under the covers and, pulling on a pair of tracksuit pants, padded barefoot out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.  Her mind was reeling.  She needed to think.  She NEEDED coffee.  

Waiting impatiently, she stared down at the coffee cup she nursed in her hands.  BEST ACTRESS IN AN ONGOING MELODRAMA was emblazoned across it, with a little trophy figure etched into the ceramic in gold.  She grinned half-heartedly.  She certainly felt like her life was becoming one big melodrama lately.  She quickly switched off the kettle, before its' whistle could wake her slumbering love.

Taking the now steaming cup, she sat down at the kitchen table and gazed vacantly into space.  The pain she had felt earlier in the day had now been replaced by a dull ache, as the painkillers Sally had given her worked their wonders.  She felt numb.  Mentally and physically numb.  What was she going to do? The question seemed to scream out over and over in her head.  What was she going to do?  

For the millionth time that day, her mind wandered back to her conversation with Sally that morning…

"I'm sorry Hilde.  But considering the extensive injuries you suffered escaping from Libra, we have to be honest in saying that this isn't completely unexpected."

_Hilde stared at her old friend in disbelief.  This couldn't be happening.  When she had started bleeding a few days before, it was unexpected but…_

_"Are you sure it was a miscarriage, Sally? I mean, the stress of the wedding preparations, maybe I'm just a little out of synch."_

_Sally shook her head sympathetically.  Although she no longer practised medicine on a daily basis, she had agreed to see Hilde, due to her extensive involvement in her rehabilitation after the war.  She was only glad that she was able to help her now, through what was obviously going to be a difficult time for both Hilde and Duo._

_"Hilde, the pregnancy was certainly only in the very early stages, but it was definitely a pregnancy."  Sally's heart ached, as she watched the younger woman gaze vacantly out the window, seeming absorbed by the movement of the clouds across the blue sky.  She turned back to Sally suddenly, taking in the folder full of test results that were clutched in the doctors' hands._

_"Are you sure Sally? Are the results that definite? Are you sure I can't…" she sobbed, stumbling over the words._

_"Are you sure I can't have children?"_

_Sally sighed, looking at the smoothly polished, sterilised tiles._

_"Chances of conceiving are very slim, and even if you did get pregnant, like this time, the possibility of carrying full term is very unlikely."_

_Hilde nodded slowly, chewing thoughtfully on her bottom lip.  Sally shook her head, unsure if the petite brunette was reacting perhaps a little too calmly to the news.  She was obviously shaken, but she had remained calm, composed, and tearless.  _

_"Is Duo aware that there may be a problem?" Sally's reply was a minute shake of the head.  _

_"Do you want some help telling him? It might help to hear the more technical information from a doctor…" again, a slight shake.  Sally sighed again._

_"Well, I have some reading material here, and here," she passed Hilde a prescription, "these will help with any persisting pain you may experience over the next couple of days.  If it goes on any longer though, I want you to let me know straight away."_

_Hilde nodded absently.  Sally then handed her a card._

_"My phone numbers.  Call me for any reason, even if it's just to talk. Please?"_

_Hilde glanced up at Sally, and for a moment the older woman could see the sheen of tears that threatened to betray the girls' valiant attempts at stoicism, before they were rapidly blinked away.  The doctor placed a consoling hand on her patients' arm._

_"Don't forget, we're your friends.  We'll always be here for you."     _

There was a hollow plink, as a drop of water fell into the cooling cup of coffee, followed rapidly by another.  Brushing the back of her hand across her face, Hilde was almost surprised to feel the wet trail of tears that had tracked down her cheeks.  

Taking a shuddering breath, she reached across and removed an orange from the overflowing fruit bowl.  She turned the citrus in her hands, smoothing her fingers over the rough textured skin.  When she had first moved to Earth with Duo, she had revelled in the enormous selection of fresh produce.  While the colonies produced their own crops, she had never tasted anything as divine as the food she found on Earth.  The planet was so fertile… she grimaced at the word.  Fertile.  And she wasn't.

Sniffling, Hilde rubbed the heels of her palms against her cheeks, smearing away the already drying tears.  She was resolute.  Her decision had been made.  Tomorrow would be a new beginning.  Straightening up, she softly made her way back into the bedroom.  Standing at the edge of the bed, she listened to Duo's deep and even breathing.  He shifted slightly, as if to move towards her side of the bed.  She heard him mumble something indecipherable, although she thought she could make out her name.  But maybe that was just fanciful thinking. 

Creeping back under the covers, Hilde tried to wriggle into a comfortable spot.  This time, when a sleeping Duo tried to draw her up against him, she allowed herself to relax into his embrace.  As his body heat began to lull her to sleep, Hilde tried desperately to imprint as much of the sensation as she could, into her memory.

******


	2. She's hiding something from me

Whatever Makes You Happy 

No own, No Profit, No Sue. 'kay?

Chapter Two 

The mist sat low against the ground, moving around his feet and seeming to snatch at his ankles.  The air was heavy, and each breath felt laboured.  All around, the barren and blackened trees that surrounded him seemed to creak and groan in the strong wind.  A nagging voice in his head questioned the presence of mist and wind.  He shook his head in irritation.  The landscape was bland, vacant of colour.  

"Hilde?"

He glanced around, hoping for a response to his shout, but none was received.  His voice sounded hollow, and the same nagging voice questioned the lack of echo.  

"Hilde?"

Suddenly a flash of purple, almost garish in its' vividness, caught his eye.  He shook his head again.  Hadn't Hilde thrown that jersey out years ago? 

"Hilde!" he hollered to the departing figure.

Gaining no recognition, he broke into a jog, as he tried in apparent vain to catch her as she walked away.  Jogging soon progressed to running, as she mysteriously appeared further and further away.  Yet the faster he ran, gasping as he struggled to breathe the leaden air, the greater the distance between them became.  His heart began to hammer in his chest, as he was overwhelmed with a fear he could not fathom.  Why wouldn't she stop?

"Dammit Hilde, stop!"

She continued to walk, and now the heavy mist appeared to surround her… concealing her.

"HILDE!!"

******

Hilde shook Duo's shoulder firmly.

"Duo. Duo, wake up.  You're dreaming."

Blue eyes snapped open, slightly dazed as they made an effort to focus on the face that hovered before them.  Blinking several times, Duo drew a deep breath, followed by a sigh of relief.  

Hilde crouched beside him, running a gentle hand across his forehead, hoping to soothe him.  She was startled.  It had been so long since he had had a bad dream, and this one certainly seemed to have rattled him.  His fringe was darkening with sweat, and he seemed to tremble slightly.

"Hon? Are you alright?"

Duo gazed up at her, and he frowned slightly.  The early morning sun was casting its rays through the small bedroom window, and the light illuminated Hilde's weary features.  She didn't look like she had had a wink of sleep.  He raised his hand and traced his thumb along her lower lip.

"I should be asking you the same thing.  You're exhausted."

He paused a moment, troubled.

"Hilde, have I… have I done something wrong?"

"No!" she gasped, "No, of course not."

She ducked her head, flushing slightly; distressed by the lie she was about to tell.

"I'm sorry I was so horrible last night, Duo.  I didn't mean it.  I… I was just tired."

Duo gave her a lopsided grin, and he seemed reassured.

"Hey, it's okay babe.  As long as everything's alright."

Hilde nodded softly, although her heart sank.  She was torn by her guilt, knowing that she had never lied to him before.  No, it wasn't a lie, she reasoned.  She was just withholding some information.  She groaned inwardly.  Oh, who the hell was she trying to fool?

Hastening to distract Duo, and herself, she ran her hand across his smooth chest, enjoying the texture of his skin beneath her fingertips.  Leaning forward, she placed a heated kiss against his breastbone.  Giving him her best alluring glance, she allowed her hand to drop lower.

"Well then.  How about I make it up to you?"

******

"You're Late."

"And good morning to you too Heero ol' buddy." Grinned Duo, as he hung his jacket behind his office door.

"Hn, you're still late." Replied Heero, who was sitting back behind Duo's desk, his feet up and arms crossed.

"Ah, but it was so worth it." Duo laughed, his trademark twinkle in his eye. "Anyway, shouldn't you be off writing another book or something?"  

Heero shrugged.  He watched silently as Duo seemed to pace the room.  Despite his cheerful facade, Heero suspected that something was troubling his friend.  He waited, certain that the loquacious American would be quick in spilling his dilemma.  His presumption was not far from the mark.

"Say, is Relena much of a 'morning' person?" asked Duo, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.  Heero paused a moment, before glowering at his American friend.

"I am not discussing my sex life with you, Maxwell.  Especially not at 9.30 in the morning." 

Duo grimaced.

"I'll take that as a yes." Duo rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully. "It's funny, but I wouldn't say that Hil is, but boy was she frisky this morning.  Almost intense…." 

Heero stared at him through narrowed lids, intrigued by the other mans' agitated condition.  Noticing the odd look he was receiving from his friend, Duo gave a nervous cough, before attempting to change the subject.

"Anyway's, you've yet to tell me why you've chosen to grace me with your presence." 

"Why I'm here isn't important.  Don't avoid the issue, something's on your mind.  Is Hilde okay?"

Duo jerked to a halt.

"Hilde? What makes you think…"

There was a sharp rap on the door, interrupting them.  They both turned, as Colonel Une appeared in the doorway.  

"Ah Heero," she began " I had a feeling I would find you here.  Relena won't be too much longer.  Could I possibly speak to you quickly?"

He nodded briskly in reply, as he rose from the desk and followed her out into the hallway.  Before closing the door behind him, he glared at Duo. 

"This conversation is not over." 

Slouching into the now vacated seat, Duo groaned inwardly.  Great, just what he needed, a grilling from the perfect soldier.  He rubbed his hands across his face, his thoughts in turmoil.  He could no longer remember exactly what the dream was about, nor did he know why it still left him so ill at ease.  What did it mean anyway?  

He sighed, as his vid screen buzzed to life.  Why was it that when he actually wanted to be left alone, nothing would? He was struck with a wave of guilt as Quatre's face flashed up on the screen.

"Cat Man! How's it going?"

Quatre smiled warmly back at him.

"Things are going well.  I just thought I would check that everything was going well with the preparations? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Hell no!" laughed Duo "You've already done enough.  Just make sure you're on that shuttle in six hours." He leaned forward with a conspiratorial air, "We've got one hell of a Bachelors party planned."

"I have no doubt.  What about Hilde? Do the girls have anything planned?"

An almost imperceptible shadow flashed across Duo's face, catching Quatre's eye.  His expression slipped to one of concern.

"Is something wrong? You're not getting nervous are you? Surely you're not having second thoughts?"

Duo blinked, and he shook his head resolutely. 

"Second thoughts? I've never been so sure of a decision in my life.  I don't know how I ever lived without her.  It's just…"

Quatre waited patiently, his characteristic compassionate gaze adorning his features.  Duo stared out the window, composing his thoughts.  Or at least attempting to.  

"I came home late last night."

Quatre simply nodded, and continued to wait.

"She was angry at me."

Duo shook his head.  He couldn't seem to find the right words.  He was probably over reacting.  He simply couldn't understand why this bothered him so much.  And then there was a flash of the dream, and he recalled the conversation from that morning.

"She's hiding something from me."

Quatre's eyebrows shot up, and he opened his mouth to say something.  Duo continued, interrupting him.

 "I know her, man.  I know her better than I know myself.  She's never lied to me but this morning… I think she did."  

Duo's tone seemed confused, almost incredulous.  

"I asked her if I'd done something wrong, something to warrant her strange behaviour, but she said that everything was fine.  That she was just tired."

"Maybe she was, Duo."

"No, you don't understand.  I can't explain…" he sighed, frustrated.  

"I had a dream last night.  She was walking away from me.  I kept yelling at her, asking her to stop, to wait.  But she just kept walking.  And then she was gone."  He shuddered slightly at the memory.

"Duo," Quatre's voice was soft, soothing. "I'm sure you're both just tired, nervous.  This is a tremendous step in anyone's life.  Try to relax.  It was just a dream."

Duo nodded; glad to have shared his worries.  He gazed at the framed photograph that rested on his desk.  She smiled back at him, her eyes glittering with mirth beneath the woollen cap that obscured her dark hair and framed her glowing cheeks.  His heart swelled as he traced a loving finger over Hilde's motionless image.  He had never known such love, never could have guessed how it would overwhelm him.  

He would die without her.

******


	3. Droll, Yuy, very droll. Really, you woun...

**What Ever Makes You Happ****y**

The Gundam Boys and Girls are not mine.  They're only on loan okay? I have to give them back.  Life is sooooo unfair.

Chapter Three 

Her skin still tingling from her scalding hot shower, Hilde wandered aimlessly through the apartment, briskly rubbing her hair dry.  Duo had left for work nearly an hour ago, but their home still seemed to resonate with his presence.  Returning to their bedroom, she stood and stared at the still rumpled sheets.  Was she doing the right thing?

Sitting on the beds' edge, she picked up his pillow and clutched it to her, inhaling his distinctive smell.  It made her head swim with longing.  Glancing up, she noticed her reflection in the closet mirror.  Standing again, she moved to glare at her mirror image.  It glared back at her, clothed in a pair of Duo's boxer shorts and a tank top.  Her short hair, still slightly damp, fell across her forehead in disarray.  

What had Duo seen in her anyway? She looked at her boyish figure and plain face, comparing it to Relena's golden beauty or Sally's sensual curves.  She had never understood what she could ever have done to be so lucky.  They had always been close friends, best friends, but she had not dared to hope for more, he was simply too perfect.  But when it had progressed into something more intimate, she thought all her dreams had come true.  When he asked her to marry him, she thought she had died and gone to heaven.  He was so nervous, actually afraid she would say no, that any doubts she had regarding his love for her were quashed. 

 But now it seemed that fate had come to knock at her door.  Sorry, it seemed to be saying, there was a mix up upstairs.  You're living someone else's dreams; time to return to the real world.

Duo wanted children.  A family.  She wanted more than life itself to be part of that family, to bear him those children.  He had been through so much in his life.  Had seen more pain and suffering than any soul should.  He deserved to receive everything his heart desired.  

If she couldn't be the mother of his children then she had to set him free, to find someone who could.

******

Having spoken to Quatre, Duo felt slightly better, as he always did after a conversation with his friend.  It had only been a dream, and Hilde most likely just tired.  She had certainly looked that way.  It was his fault.  He really had to stop wandering around late at night, causing her to worry.  He leaned towards the vid screen, thinking to call her, just to tell her he loved her.  He stopped himself, however, as he remembered that she was going with Sally for her last dress fittings.  She would probably already be gone.  Oh well, he sighed wistfully.  Maybe he'd be lucky, and she'd drop by on her way home. 

He looked at his watch.  It was definitely time for a coffee.

******

"I don't think that will be problem, Colonel," replied Heero, his mind only half on the subject at hand.  What was taking Relena so long?

"Well, thank you, Heero.  It would be greatly appreciated.  Duo is only going to be gone for two weeks, but I really don't like the cadets missing any of their combat training."

He nodded quietly, although he was privately amused by the thought of the Preventer cadets being instructed in hand-to-hand combat by the former Deathscythe pilot.  When he'd finished with them, they'd be begging for Duo back.

"Ah, Minister, how are you today?"

Heero immediately swivelled his head in the direction of Une's greeting.  He smiled slightly at the sight of Relena approaching, obviously having completed her mornings' meeting.  He relaxed immediately, glad that she was once again in his company.

"I'm well, thank you Lady Une.  The day appears to be off to a smooth beginning." 

Relena paused to smile up at her devoted escort, her hand automatically coming to rest on his arm.  He gazed back at her, a warmth in his eyes that he had always reserved just for her.  She marvelled at the way he appeared to crave her presence, and she wondered if he would ever accept that she was not going to disappear in a cloud of smoke.  He had been back for nearly three months now, settling into their new lifestyle, enjoying their mutual love.  She still awoke every morning to feel his caress, finding that even in sleep he was loath to withdraw his contact.

"Heero has kindly agreed to relieve Duo's combat classes while the newlyweds are away." Said Une, interrupting Relena's thoughts.

"Oh gods," came a voice behind them, "Well, whatever you do, don't let him ask them to do him any favours."

Duo strode towards them, steaming cup of coffee in hand.  Heero smirked at him.

"Well, with any luck, they should be able to punch better than you."

"Droll, Yuy, very droll.  Really, you wound me."

The two women shot each other a look, both choosing to decline commenting.  

******

It was old now, well worn.  But it was still his favourite.  She smoothed her fingers over the shaped brim, before adjusting the back so it would fit her snugly.  It was plain, a simple black, nondescript but not entirely without character.  And it was his.  

Resolutely, she pulled the cap down, so that it shaded her eyes.  Not unlike the way she had seen him wear it so many times before.  She hoped he would not begrudge her this one keepsake.  Something close to him, that she could carry with her.  Shouldering the simple bag of meagre possessions, she allowed herself one last scan of the cosy flat.  She doubted anywhere else would ever feel like home.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped back, pulling the door shut behind her.

******

"What do we have here?" commented Sally, walking up to the small group, "A hall party?" 

"Well, it does appear to be shaping up that way," replied Relena, smiling sincerely at the older woman.  

Sally glanced around the gathering, her gaze pausing momentarily on Duo.  She noticed, strangely, the puzzled expression on his face.  Had Hilde already told him, she wondered.  She hoped so.  He looked at his watch.

"Aren't you going to be late?" he asked.

"Late? … For what?"

Duo shook his head slowly.

"Hilde said she was meeting you to do a few last minute shopping…."

Taking in her perplexed look, his face blanched.  

"Why did she… what is she…" he muttered, ignoring the frowns from his friends.  

"I have to go." 

Spinning on his heel, he began to dash towards the buildings exit.  Heero grabbed Relena's hand, preparing to take up pursuit.  

"Heero, wait!"

He turned to Sally, who's expression was grim.

"I think I should come with you."

He nodded.

"Why do I get the impression that you know more than you're letting on?"

******


	4. What did she tell you, Duo?

**What Ever Makes You Happy**

Okay… I don't own Gundam Wing… blah, blah, blah…. Can anyone say 'broken record'?

Chapter Four 

The car slid to a halt with a squeal of tyres.  Uncurling his clenched fingers from the steering wheel, Duo drew a forced breath.  He knew he was probably over-reacting, even being irrational.  But something troubled him, he just didn't know what.  Why did she lie to him? She said nothing was wrong… what had been so bad that she couldn't, no - wouldn't, share it with him?

Having made it up the eight flights of stairs in record time, he paused outside their apartment as he fumbled with his keys.   The door swung open with an almost ominous creak.  Shaking his head, he forced himself to calm down, but his traitorous heart refused to cease its erratic rhythm.  

At first glance, his surroundings appeared perfectly normal.  What was he expecting to find anyway?  He berated himself.  He was being so stupid, just because of a dream.  Finding himself in the bedroom, he came to an abrupt halt.  The bed was neatly made, and the room was in its usual tidy state.  The cupboard was slightly ajar, and he wandered across to close it.  As he drew level with the mirror, something seemed out of place with the bed in its reflection.  Frowning, he turned slowly to see the small, familiar black box that was propped on Hilde's pillow.

His mouth was dry, and with a trembling hand, he reopened the cupboard door.   The empty shelves seemed to stare back at him, mocking him.

"No!  I don't understand.  Hilde …"

******

"What is going on Sally?"

Heero's tone was firm, challenging.  Sally stared back at him, her expression unrepentant.

"I'm sorry Heero, but it's not my story to tell."

Relena shook her head slowly, distressed.  Her voice was soft, hushed.

"Something's wrong though.  Isn't it?"

Sally's silence was all the answer she required.  Gently, Relena pressed her hand into Heero's and gazed out the car window, wishing Pagan could drive faster.  

******

The scene that greeted them when they reached the apartment was harrowing.  The normally neat home had been ransacked, draws upended, papers everywhere.  Moving silently through the rooms, picking their way through the debris, they found Duo huddled on the floor in the bedroom.  His shoulders shook, and his face was hidden in his folded arms.  He gave no acknowledgment of their presence. 

"Duo…" Relena's voice was soft, as she crouched down beside him.  Tentatively, she reached out and touched his arm.

He looked up at her, his eyes vacant and red rimmed.

"Rel?"

She nodded softly.  He sobbed.

"She's gone, Rel."

She moved to take his hands, her eyes brimming, only to find each hand clenched shut.  Uncurling his fingers, she found a prescription bottle in one hand and a crumpled piece of notepaper in the other.  Taking the paper, she read it silently, a tear escaping to slide undeterred down her cheek.

_Duo_

_I Love You. I'm Sorry.  Find Another._

_Hilde_

She felt Heero move up behind her, leaning over to remove the note from her grasp.  

"What happened?" Heero's voice was level, void of emotion.  Duo's reply was bewildered.

"I don't know.  I don't…. understand." 

Sally moved slightly, stepping closer and catching Duo's attention.  His eyes narrowed, glinting dangerously.  

"You!" he spat "You! You had something to do with this."

He rose to his feet, swaying slightly, as he held the hand that still gripped the bottle, out in front of him.  

"Your name's on these! You prescribed them to her.  Only yesterday.  What are they for? You know something.  Tell me! And don't try and give me any of that patient privilege crap. I have a right to know!"

Looking at the note that Heero had pressed into her hand, Sally sighed.  

"What did she tell you, Duo?"

"Tell me?" he replied, his words angry, forced.

"Nothing! Zip. Nil. That's what she told me! Stop stalling Sally. She's gone.  Now tell me why."

Sally chewed at her lip, imparting the agitated man a measured look.  

"Five days ago, Hilde suffered a miscarriage."

Relena let out a soft gasp.  Duo's face dropped, his expression one of anguish.  Sally continued.

"The prescription is for a strong painkiller, to help ease any… discomfort."

Duo shook his head, confused.

"But… but why couldn't she tell me? I would have been there for her.  There'll be other chances… why did she leave?"

"It's not as easy as that Duo." Sally sighed again, rubbing her temples. "Hilde said she wanted to tell you.  I thought you knew…"

She looked across at Heero and Relena, unhappy that she was revealing Hilde's secrets before an audience.  

"Duo, we all know the extent of Hilde's injuries during the war, and how much time it took for her to recover.  Well… some things didn't recover…"

"Oh Hilde…" Relena's exclamation was whisper soft, and Sally was aware that the other woman had been quick to draw a conclusion.  She nodded, mournfully.

"Duo, Hilde is unable to sustain a pregnancy."

His face was stunned, and he appeared as if all the air had been forced from his lungs.  

"Find Another." He whispered.  

His movement was stiff and mechanical as he walked to the window, where he pressed his forehead to the cool glass. The room was silent, as time seemed to freeze.

"So basically," his voice rose hollow and forlorn "what you're telling me is that she's trying to do me a favour."

Sally was unsure if the question even required an answer.  Relena stepped towards him, brushing Heero's hand aside as he moved to stop her.  Standing beside him, she reached up to smooth an errant lock of hair out of his stricken face. 

"You are the most important thing in her life, Duo.  This is not something she would have taken lightly.  You know, I don't believe I ever saw her happier than when she was with you.  I remember when you two finally got together… there's no way to describe her joy.  She never believed she deserved you.   You were proof that wonderful things could happen to the most unusual people. 

She knows Duo.  She knows how much you want a family.  How important family is to you.  She wanted to be part of your family.  In her own misguided way, I believe, she's trying to let you still have that family."

"So she thinks I should go find someone else."

Relena nodded sadly.  Duo leant forward, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace.  His voice was broken, cracking as he whispered into her hair,

"But Rel… Hilde IS my family."

******


	5. What was it with women and shopping?

**What Ever Makes You Happy**

Yeah sure…  I own Gundam Wing… OH MY GOSH! THERE GOES A FLYING PIG!!

_Trowa – You do know, don't you, that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour?_

_Mel - *glares* Oh shut up…._

**Chapter Five**

Trowa groaned inwardly.  What was it with women and shopping? And how the HELL did he get roped into accompanying Cathy on this escapade anyway? It was bad enough watching any girl rifle through clothes racks and trying on a dozen different outfits, without it being his sister.  Now if it had been Relena or Sally in a bikini store…

He shook his head with frustration and let out a loud sigh.  Almost on cue, Cathy reappeared from behind the changing room curtain.

"Ta Da! What do you think of this one?" 

She gave her best twirl, causing the pale blue chiffon to swirl about her legs.  The dress was quite becoming on her, accentuating her soft curves.  _Please God_, Trowa begged, _let this be the one_.

"Very nice.  Lovely.  The best so far."

Cathy plucked at the hem, pouting thoughtfully.

"Are you sure? I mean, is it suitable for a wedding?"

"What would I know Cathy, I'm a guy."

Trowa kicked himself self consciously, as Cathy moved to try on something else.

"It's gorgeous, Cathy. Lovely.  Perfect."

She paused, doubtful.  Trowa nodded vigorously.  She smiled brightly at him.  

"Okay.  If you say so." 

_Oh I do_, Trowa muttered to himself, _I do_.

******

Stepping out of the dress shop, into the sunny afternoon, Trowa allowed himself to be towed down the street in search of a new formal jacket.  Cleaning dirty cages was actually beginning to look quite appealing.  Cathy was practically skipping beside him, one of her hands clutching his elbow as the other swung her shopping bag in a vivacious arch.  

"Say, isn't that Hilde?"

Trowa found himself yanked to a halt, as Cathy pointed in the direction of a nearby bus stop.  

"Hilde!" she called, frantically waving her arm to attract their friends' attention.  

Hilde paused mid stride, her head appearing to tilt in their direction.  She then seemed to tug her dark baseball cap further over her eyes, shrugging her backpack onto her shoulder as she hurried to board the waiting bus.  Trowa frowned to himself, as they watched the motor vehicle accelerate away.  He took careful notice of the destination plaque; curious that Hilde's trip was not potentially a short one.  Why did this not bode well?

Cathy's expression was bewildered, perhaps even a little miffed, but she was quick to recover her former good spirits.  Spotting a well-dressed mannequin in a nearby window, she dashed across to take a closer look.  Sauntering after her, Trowa was surprised by a shrill signal from his mobile.  Flipping it open, he was greeted by Heero's predictably impassive features.

"Heero."

"Trowa.  Where are you?"

Trowa raised an eyebrow at the underlying tension in his friends' tone.

"Down town.  Shopping.  With Cathy."

There was no mistaking the smirk that flashed across Heero's face.  Trowa fought the temptation to scowl at him.

"Can you come to Duo's place? We have a slight… situation."

Trowa frowned again, his gaze instinctively turning to the direction the bus had just headed.

"Is this something to do with Hilde?"

Heero's stare sharpened, his eyes questioning.

"I just saw her getting on a bus."

"Can you follow her? Do you know where she was headed?"

Trowa nodded, as he explained the bus's destination point.  Heero nodded briskly.

"We'll meet you there.  Don't lose her."

Then, giving no opportunity for reply, Heero terminated the connection.

Trowa shrugged.  Well, he guessed, it was one way to get out of shopping.

******

There was a loud blaring of car horns, as Heero swung the car through a second set of red traffic lights.  The little convertible sped through the city traffic, its' pilot actually appearing relaxed as he manoeuvred it through tight turns and passed irate motorists.

His passenger was completely unaffected by their apparent reckless endangerment, as he stared vacantly into space.  Would they be able to catch up with her in time? And what the hell was he going to say to her anyway?   Duo glanced down at the small black box that sat nestled in his palm.  

He gave his head a slight shake.  Why had she done this?  Didn't she trust him? His mind was in turmoil, as he tried to comprehend what could be going through her head.  He knew the grief she must be feeling because of the miscarriage, his own heart ached with the loss, but it was nothing compared with the agony of losing her. Did she really think that he would just move on? She was his life's breath.  He could never replace her.

"What the hell am I supposed to say to her Heero?"

His companion glanced at him briefly, before returning his eyes to the road.

"I don't know Duo.  But you've got about 30 minutes to make up your mind."

******

Hilde snapped her book shut with a sigh, before gazing out the bus window.  Her stomach twisted with nervous tension, and her head ached from the strain of trying not to cry.  Self-consciously she began to knead her hands, her ring finger feeling strangely naked without the precious engagement ring.

She smiled softly as remembered his proposal, and how he had apologised, actually apologised, for how small the diamond was.  It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.  Hell, he could have given her a trinket made from beads and a pipe cleaner and she would have loved it.  

Unable to help herself, she rummaged in her bag until she found the small Polaroid she had secreted away.  It had always been her favourite picture; Duo didn't even know she had taken it.  He had fallen asleep in the grass, after a rather competitive game of soccer with the guys.  His hair was still damp with sweat, and one hand rested across his face, shading his eyes.  He had removed his shirt, leaving him bare-chested and wearing only his cut off denim shorts and sneakers.  The sun had seemed to kiss his skin, bathing him in its' warmth.  Sniffing slightly, she brushed at the gathering moisture in her eyes.  

She would never love another.

******

"Are you sure it stops here? Maybe we've missed it already."

Heero fixed Duo with a level stare.  The American was literally a ball of nervous energy, his apprehension obvious.  Heero watched him with fascination.  It was strange, when they had first met, he would never have imagined that he would understand how Duo could be feeling now.  But since meeting Relena…

"Duo.  It'll be okay."

Duo stared back at him, stunned by the sympathetic expression on his friends face.  

"Thanks man.  It's just… I don't know how I could ever live without her."

Heero nodded.

"I know.  I understand."

Duo stared.  Yes, oh course.  Oh course he understood.  Lord how times had changed.

******

Hilde waited in her seat, as the other passengers filed off the bus.  She thought briefly of what her next step would be, how she would occupy herself before the shuttle flight the following morning.  It was hardly the time to go shopping.  Noticing the last few people making their way to the exit, she moved to follow.  

Her head down as she stepped onto the footpath, she didn't see the person in front of her until she had literally run into them.

"I'm so sorry," she gasped, as she felt hands grasp her arms, steadying her.  Looking up, she found herself gazing into an all too familiar pair of violet eyes.

"Did you really think I would let you get away that easily?"

******


	6. Anything. I swear.

**What Ever Makes You Happy**

Due to the fact that I own two overfed, under worked thoroughbreds and one very nice but very expensive to run car, I can't afford to own Gundam Wing… I'm only borrowing the characters.  I am taking excellent care of them though! _Duo – No she's not! She's torturing us… someone… please…send help…. _Err… Aheh…Yeah…

Chapter Six 

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, twisting herself away from his grasp.

Duo frowned at her, startled that she could even ask such a question.  His hand reached forward, brushing against her forehead.  She flinched, almost stumbling in her haste to move away from him.  She swallowed deeply, struggling to steady her breathing, her skin still seeming to burn from his touch.  

"You're not meant to be here." She stammered, as she glanced around for some form of escape.  _No.  It's not supposed to happen this way_.  It was then that she spotted Heero and Trowa standing a small distance away.  _Dammit, why did Trowa have to tell on her?_

"Oh? And exactly where AM I supposed to be then? Sitting on my butt at work while you run out on me, on US?"

His tone was firm, but there was an underlying tenor of bitterness.  Hilde stared at the pavement, unable to match his gaze.

"You don't understand…"

"Yes I do.  I do understand.  You think that you have to 'set me free' because of some misconstrued idea of what marriage is for.  Well don't I get a say in this?  Or do I have to stand back and let you be the martyr, like you're the only one that has a choice." 

His voice was becoming harder, and his eyes flashed with frustration.  Her posture was unyielding, as she stared at the footpath with her small hands clenched.  Didn't she know she was just supposed to throw her arms around his neck, tell him she was sorry and ask him to take her home?  Reaching forward, he grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly.

"Doesn't it mean anything to you that I love you?"

She glanced up in response to his words, her face ashen and her bottom lip trembling.

"It's because I love you that I have to do this." She whispered.

Noticing the stand off taking place, a passing pedestrian paused.

"Hey lady, is this guy giving you trouble?" he asked, straightening himself up to an imposing height.

Duo shot him a threatening glare, as Heero and Trowa stepped forward, their bearing suggesting the man take a quick exit.

"Why don't you just fuck off?" Duo snarled, watching with satisfaction as the man beat a hasty retreat.  

Turning his attention back to Hilde, his heart sank as he felt her tremble beneath his touch.  Stepping back he watched her, as he desperately tried to think of how he could get her to come home.  He was rapidly leaning towards simply tossing her over his shoulder and carrying her home.  Dipping his hand into his pocket, he retrieved the well-handled ring case.  He held it out towards her.

"You forgot this."

She shook her head at him.

"I can't take it.  It wouldn't be right."

Duo sighed.

"Please Hilde.  Come home."

"I'm sorry Duo.  I can't"

"Why? Hil, you're over reacting.  Just come home and we can talk this through.  It's not that bad."

Hilde flushed, her jaw tensing in anger.

"Over reacting?  Do you have any idea what you're actually talking about?  You think it's as easy as that?  Oh too bad Hilde, you can't have children, but it's NO BIG DEAL!"

Trowa's eyes widened at this new piece of information, and he shot Heero a questioning glance, receiving a slight nod in reply.  Oh hell. 

"Of course it's a big deal! But it's not the end of the world either.  Things could change Hil.  We don't really know yet if it's as final as all that.  And if it is, then we'll adopt.  Hell, we'll adopt a dozen kids, if that's what you want.  Whatever makes you happy.  You know I'd do anything for you, all you have to do is ask."

Hilde stared at him, her features etched with sorrow.

"Really Duo? You'd do anything I asked? Anything at all?"

He nodded,

"Anything.  I swear."

"Then I'm asking you to let me go."

Duo's shoulders sagged, and he seemed to almost cringe.

"Hil…"

"Duo," her voice was soft now, apologetic. "You may not see it now… but soon you'll realise.  If we went through with this… we would come to resent each other.  You're too special not to have your own sons and daughters to carry on your heritage.  And I would only come to resent that I couldn't provide them for you.  It would destroy us.  Better to end this now, before you waste anymore time."

"Hil…"

"Please Duo.  Let me go."

Weakening, she allowed herself to reach up and trail her fingers along the line of his jaw.  Lifting his hand quickly, he took her hand in his, pressing it harder against his cheek.  The pain in her chest was extreme, as she saw the unshed tears in his eyes, and she looked away, not wanting to show her own weakness.  

'You're a stupid fool." He rasped, flinching as she pulled her hand from his.

"I thought you'd say… something like that."

And with a sob, she turned on her heel and walked away.

******

A/N – I know guys… a bit of a shortie… I promise I'll make it up.  Thanks to everyone that has read along so far and particularly those that have taken the time to reply.  (Rose, Miyuki, Tsukiyo, Angeldreams, Goddess Wing, Beck…. You're all wonderful)


	7. Relena, there is always hope

What Ever Makes You Happy

As if you DIDN'T know already… I don't own Gundam Wing. It belongs to some other lucky SOB.  But I'm sure they won't mind me borrowing… after all… it's not like I'm making any money… 

Chapter Seven 

 "Shouldn't you be in a meeting or something, right about now?"

Relena looked up from her spot on the floor, where she was returning an upended drawer's contents.  Brushing her hands against her skirt, she shook her head at Sally.

"Meetings can be rescheduled.  Besides, what kind of friend would I be, if I wasn't around when I was needed most?"

Sally crossed her arms, slouching slightly against an armchair.  Her voice was soft, despondent.

"A better friend than I was." 

Relena glanced at the older woman in dismay, rising to her feet quickly and placing her hand on Sally's arm.

"Don't say such things! You can't hold yourself responsible for what has happened today!  How were you to know how Hilde would react? You offered your friendship, no one could have asked for more.  Besides," she smiled softly as she moved to straighten an upturned lampshade, "Everything is going to work out.  The boys will bring her home."

Sally shook her head slightly, amazed by the young woman's unfailing optimism.  

"You really do have complete faith in those guys, don't you?"

******

"That's it? You're just going to let her walk away?"

Trowa's tone was incredulous, stunned by the apparent turn of events.  Duo shrugged, his reply soft and lacking emotion, as he stared off in the direction Hilde had just disappeared.

"What else was I supposed to do? I promised."

Trowa glared at Heero, as he saw the other man nod slightly in agreement at Duo's words.  

"You two are as bad as each other.  You'll throw everything away for the sake of a misplaced promise and your own stupid pride.  I'm out of here.  You guys make me sick."

Heero watched, eyebrow raised, as Trowa stalked over to his bike, revving the engine sharply before accelerating away.  Turning back to Duo, he saw his friend had not moved from his spot.  His hands were shoved deep into his jacket pockets; his shoulders slumped as he stared ahead at some unknown point. 

"Come on Duo.  Let's go home."

Duo's response was hollow, devoid of feeling.

"Home? I don't think I have one any more."

******

She had hoped that each step she took away from him would strengthen her resolve.  Weaving her way through the afternoon crowd, however, she simply felt more alone as a growing emptiness expanded in her heart.  She did not look back, knowing that Duo would not try to stop her.  After all, Duo Maxwell never broke a promise.

Instead, Hilde walked on, allowing herself to be engulfed by the faceless mass of strangers.

******

Relena wandered aimlessly around the flat, restlessly trying to find something to occupy her.  Duo's mess had long since been tidied, but she found herself unable to relax and wait as she was overwhelmed by nervous energy. 

Sally and been called back to headquarters some time ago, leaving Relena to wear a hole in the carpet on her own.  She was slightly relieved, the solitude allowing her to fret in peace.  A nagging feeling of unease nestled in the pit of her stomach and it grew with each passing moment.  It had been hours.  What was taking them so long?

As if in response to her question, she heard the soft sound of footsteps, and turned to see Trowa enter the room.  His face was free of expression, bearing a blankness she had come to dread.  Things had not gone well.  She opened her mouth, about to ask the whereabouts of the others, when she was interrupted by the bang of the front door.

Head down and hands forced deep into his pockets, Duo's step was heavy, devoid of his trademark vigour.  He trudged passed them, as if they were not there and made his way down the hall into his room, slamming the door with a force that caused the walls to reverberate.  

Stunned, Relena turned to Heero, who had followed silently in Duo's wake.  Before she could say a word, however, she found her hand grasped firmly as Heero drew her behind him into the kitchen. 

"What happened? Did you find her? Where is she?"

The anxious questions rolled from her lips, fading off, as his intense gaze mesmerized her.

"Heero…?"

His arms wrapped around her, holding her close, as he buried his face in her hair.  She sighed softly, understanding the feelings he could not verbalize.  His hold was possessive, almost anxious, as if he sought to make certain that she was really there.  She turned her head slightly, so he could feel her warm breath against his ear.

"I know Heero.  I love you too."

******

Everything about their room spoke her name.  Whether it was the soft lavender paint she had chosen for the walls, or the subtle hints of femininity she had added to the space.  He remembered how he had bemoaned her selection of bedspreads, grumbling when she had replaced the worn flannel sheets with cotton and satin.  He had ribbed her at the time at the way she was taking over 'his' room.  She hadn't taken it over though.  She had simply made it theirs.

He sat on the edge of the bed, picking up one of the pillows that had cradled her head, not so many hours ago.  He ran his hands across the fabric, as he stared off into space, cursing the way he had allowed himself to be tricked by her.  Why had he made such a stupid promise? And why was he too much of a coward to break that promise?

Trowa was right.  He was throwing everything away for the sake of a few stupid words.

******

"But it can't just end like this!" Relena exclaimed, as Heero recounted what had happened at the bus depot. "There must be more we can do?"

Heero shook his head slightly, unsure of how he could soothe her.  She had been pacing the floor for the entirety of his tale, and it made him dizzy to watch her.  Trowa leaned against the wall, his traditional mask hiding the real sorrow he felt for his friend.  

"She made her choice Relena.  What else can we do?"

Heero's words simply resulted in further agitation, as Relena came to a sudden halt.

"They're meant to be Heero."

Her voice was a mere whisper, but the anguish in her tone all but shouted the words.  Heero blinked at her.

"Don't you understand? If they can't have a happy ending, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

Heero's expression darkened, as her words found new meaning.  Stepping forward, he brushed his fingers across her cheek, before kissing her tenderly.  

"Relena, there is always hope."

He turned sharply, his stride determined as he moved towards the door, pulling his jacket on as he went.  Throwing the door open, he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Quatre, who was poised to knock on the door.  Not pausing for pleasantries, Heero brushed passed him, leaving a dumbfounded Quatre in his wake.  

Shrugging slightly, Quatre shouldered his bags and made his way into the living room, pausing at the sombre congregation.

"Judging by the atmosphere in this room, I would guess there's a pretty good reason nobody remembered to pick me up from the shuttle port."

******


	8. Grief affects different people, differen...

**What Ever Makes You Happy**

*Does best broken record impersonation* I do not own Gundam Wing… blah, blah, blah

Chapter Eight 

Heero scowled at the incessant deluge of rain as it saturated everything it touched.   Leaning back against his sheltering doorframe, he watched as a couple braved the elements to cross the street.  The tall man held his coat over his head attempting to shelter his partner.  She smiled up at him, laughing with him as they splashed through the growing puddles.  As they reached the cover of a shop's awning, the man leant down to kiss the woman gently, whispering something in her ear that triggered an apparent flirtatious giggle in response.  Heero's frown deepened, the intimate moment between the two simply reminding him where he would much rather be.

He had lost count of how many times now he had cursed not planting a tracking device on Hilde's backpack.  He had been wandered around for hours now, tracking the proverbial needle in a haystack.  To make matters worse, it had been raining for over an hour, slowing his search down even more.  Maybe he was losing his touch.

A shrill ring interrupted his thoughts, and with a sigh he fished his commlink from his pocket.  He grunted at the face that flashed onto the screen.  The blonde haired caller grimaced slightly at Heero's hostile expression.

"Things not going well, I see." Quatre ventured.  His reply was another rigid grunt.

"Oookay," he continued, "Well, Wufei has been making some enquiries, and has found she's booked on a shuttle to the L2 sector in a little under four hours.  I guess you'll find her at the shuttle port, sometime soon I would think."

Heero nodded slightly, his expression appearing more accommodating.  

"How is Duo?"

Quatre glanced quickly to his left.

"He's still in his room.  He's alive at least… I can hear him moving around.  I thought I might… check on him in a moment."

"And Relena?"

"Trowa took her home.  He's going to stay with her until you get back."

Heero nodded, satisfied.  Not too long ago, this would have been unwelcome news, but now there was no one he trusted more.  

"I'll head for the 'port then." 

About to disconnect the call, he was interrupted by Quatre's subdued question,

"Heero, do you really think you can bring her back?"

"Even if I have to bind, gag and drag her home."

******

Quatre sighed, leaning back in his seat as he turned off the communicator.  There was a clattering to his left, and the sound of the washing machine humming to life.  Eyebrows raised, he rose quickly and moved towards the laundry.  He stopped at the sight of his braided friend rummaging around in the hallway closet.  He was muttering to himself as he rifled through the carefully organised linen.  With a flourish he drew out a set of faded flannel sheets.  Turning, his eyes widened as he realised he was being observed.

"Cat man!" his voice bore a forced tenor of cheerfulness "What are you doing here?"

"Not much," Quatre's reply eluded a true answer, as he quickly returned his own question.

"What are you doing?"

Duo shrugged, looking at the cloth in his hands.

"Cleaning."

"It's 2 o'clock in the morning Duo."

"Really?" Duo's voice was empty, and a flash of something dark flared in his eyes "I hadn't noticed."

Turning on his heel, he walked back to his room, Quatre following silently behind.  He shook out the sheets, his posture rigid as he began to remake the bed with stiff, rough movements.

"Go home Q.  There's nothing to see here.  Go lavish your pity on someone else."

Quatre ignored him, choosing to continue watching him in silence.  The demeanour of the other man puzzled him.  He had expected grief, anger, and tears even.  Relena had already quietly told him of the state both Duo and the apartment had been in when they had found him.  This quiet… acceptance worried him.

Bed made, Duo turned again, brushing passed Quatre, as he made his way to the bathroom.  There was a sharp popping of breaking glass, as something was apparently knocked to the ground.  Duo was kneeling on the floor; shoulders hunched as he gathered up the shattered remains of a perfume bottle.  The air reeked with the strong, floral fragrance.  

Quatre saw Duo flinch slightly, as a piece of the ornate crystal nicked his finger, drawing a bright bead of crimson onto his skin.  Head bowed, he thrust the injured digit into his mouth, just as a low sob burst from his lips.

"She gave up on me Quatre! How could she do that? I thought she loved me.  How could she think that I would just move on?"

Quatre sighed, shaken by the intensity in his friends' eyes.  It was an expression he had not seen since the day Duo had carried Hilde's battered form onto Peacemillion. 

"She didn't give up on you. She would never give up on you. She gave up on herself."

Duo shot Quatre a dark look, as he rose back to his feet, throwing the gathered glass into the waste paper basket as he stalked out of the room.  Following him into the kitchen, Quatre persisted,

"Grief affects different people, different ways Duo.  So much has been happening lately, perhaps it just proved too much for her."

Duo yanked open the freezer door, scouring the contents until he had retrieved a tub of chocolate ice cream.  Tearing the lid off, he began to gouge at its' contents with a spoon, stabbing at the confection with aggressive jabs.  

"Too much for her? Are we talking about the same person here?  You mean the same Hilde that practically took on the White Fang single-handed, just to help us out? Or the one that turned some run down scrap yard into such a profitable business that we sold it for three times its original value? Nothing was ever too much for her!"

Quatre smiled softly at his friend and his rose coloured glasses.  

"She never boarded Libra for us.  She boarded Libra for you.  We both know that.  You've overwhelmed her since the day you met her.  And I believe it's always frightened her a little.  She's kind, intelligent and selfless.  And she has never believed that she deserved you.  I wouldn't be surprised if she's been unconsciously waiting for a reason to appear that would confirm all her fears."

"I should never have let her go.  How could I have let her walk away like that? I'm a damned coward."

Duo dropped the mangled ice cream onto the bench, as he moved to peer out the kitchen window.

"Trowa was right, I've ruined everything for the sake of my own stupid pride."  

******

He found her hunched down in one of the boarding lounge seats, her backpack tucked protectively between her feet and a magazine lying open across her lap.  Her chin rested against her chest, as she dozed lightly.  He crept closer, finally sliding casually into the seat beside her.  She moved slightly, and he froze, not wishing to disturb her… not yet.

Looking down, he saw a slightly creased Polaroid clutched in her fingers.  Curiosity won out, and he leaned across to take a closer look.  The picture was quickly snatched away, however, as a scathing voice stopped him.

"Well, well.  I am honoured.  Of all the people I least expected to see here, it would have to have been you." 

******


	9. “Running away isn’t going to help you, y...

**What Ever Makes You Happy**

Nope… don't own it… What? You're surprised?

Chapter Nine 

The steady hum of the janitor's vacuum cleaner echoed through the semi-deserted boarding lounge, drowning out the steady babble of voices coming from the video screens.  Shuttle port staff came and went as some began shifts and others finished them.   A large display board flicked periodically through arrival and departure times.  And in the middle of it all, oblivious to all that was happening around them, two people sat side by side, poised as if in standoff.  

"What are you doing here Heero?"

He blinked at her, surprised by the hollow inflection of her tone.  

"I could ask the same of you."

Hilde glared at him, before turning in her seat slightly in an attempt to dismiss him.  Retrieving the magazine on her lap she began to flip through it, almost tearing the pages as she tried to pretend Heero wasn't there.  Heero sighed.  Well, he hadn't exactly expected this to be easy.  Reaching across, he grabbed the crumpling magazine and yanked it from her grasp.

"Hilde, I'm here to take you home."

A lesser man would have yielded under the look of pure revulsion that Hilde bestowed.  Fortunately, however, Heero was not a lesser man.  

"Really," Hilde spat, as she reached across to snatch back the tattered tabloid "And how exactly do you plan on doing that?"

Heero merely raised an eyebrow at her, watching her silently.  Duo's cap was still pulled down firmly over her brow and her complexion was pale and shadowed.  

"You're being a coward."

He couldn't possibly have chosen a better way to gain her attention.  She exhaled sharply, her expression indignant and angry as she turned her flashing blue eyes on him.

"A coward! You, Heero Yuy, are hardly the one to talk.  Or do I have to completely rehash your own relationship screw ups?"

Her heated words all but died on her lips as Heero simply stared back at her, his face impassive.  She swallowed back against the tears she could feel building, desperate not to cry in front of him, anyone but him.  She brushed a trembling hand across her face, frantically trying to collect herself.

"What are you doing here," she croaked "He promised… he promised he would let me go."

"He said he'd let you go, and he did.  You never said anything about the rest of us." Heero sighed, looking away from her. "He doesn't know I'm here."

Hilde blinked at him, confused by Heero's admission.

"So Relena sent you?"

He shook his head slightly.

"I'm simply trying to return a favour."

"A favour?" Hilde arched an eyebrow, her expression sceptical. "A favour to who?"

Heero shrugged slightly. 

"I'm still making my mind up about that."

They settled back into an uneasy silence.  Scanning the surrounding area, Heero noticed a cafeteria, its' garish menu boards boasting steaming coffee and home cooked pie.  He glanced at Hilde's brooding figure from the corner of his eye and weighed up his options.  He wasn't going to get anywhere just sitting like this.  He needed to get her to less hostile grounds if these peace talks were going to succeed.  

"Coffee."

She looked at him as if he had grown another head.  He coughed slightly, clearing his throat a little and indicating towards the coffee shop with a nod of his head.  Hilde shrugged slightly, allowing herself to follow him, as he strode across the square, quietly astounded by the apparent surrealism of the encounter. 

******

The young cashier's eyelashes fluttered flirtatiously at Heero, as he placed his order, though her connotation was lost on him as he barely noticed her presence.  He silently handed her payment, before moving towards their table, leaving behind a disappointed admirer.  Hilde couldn't help but grin.  He was completely oblivious to his affect on the women around him, since in his mind none held a candle to Relena.

He slid into the seat opposite her, resting his elbows on the tabletop as he ran his hand through his tousled fringe.  Hilde's eyes widened as she watched him.  _Oh My God_, she thought, _the Infamous Heero Yuy is nervous_.  She gave her head a shake, wondering if perhaps her lack of sleep was causing hallucinations.  About to say something, she paused as the aforementioned teenager delivered their coffee.  A slice of apple pie was set before Hilde, and she shot Heero a questioning look.  He shrugged.

"I figured you hadn't eaten for a while."

His tone was even, matter of fact, and matched the tenor she had come to expect from him.  But there was an underlying concern, a kindness that she had heard Duo and Relena speak of often, but had yet to experience herself.  She returned the gesture with a small smile, at a loss for words.

The air became thick with their silence, each seeming lost in their own thoughts.  Hilde began to add milk and sugar to her drink with sharp, uneasy gestures.  She swirled her spoon around the mug, mesmerised by the hollow clink of the metal as it clipped the ceramic edges.   Once bored with this action, she laid the spoon across her saucer, and gazed restlessly at her unforeseen companion.

She noticed the way he now cradled his cup in his large hands, and it made her think of Duo.  Heero's fingers were longer, thinner, than Duo's but they both had the same calloused pads.  To look at Duo's hands, it would be hard to imagine the tenderness they could bestow, to imagine that the same hands that could grip a weapon could also impart the gentlest caress.  The heaviness in her heart returned tenfold, and she swallowed against the lump that was rising in her throat.

Struggling to contain herself, she glared at Heero, needing to vent her grief on someone.

"God Dammit Heero!" she sobbed, "What the Hell are you doing here?"

If she had expected any major response from him, she was to be sadly disappointed.  He didn't even blink, and simply took a long swallow of his black, unsweetened coffee.  From the corner of her eye, she could see the curious cashier glancing in their direction as she hovered nearby, pretending to wipe down the already spotless bench tops. 

"Running away isn't going to help you, you know.   The emptiness will just follow you, wherever you go." He paused slightly, setting the mug back down before continuing softly,  "I should know."

Hilde blinked at him, stunned by his unexpected candour.  She frowned, turning her gaze to the tabletop, as she found herself unable to bear Heero's scrutiny.  

"I'm not running away," she protested softly, "I'm just doing what's best for Duo."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

She gasped slightly, and her mind raced to think of some form of counter, despite the nagging realization that, deep down, she agreed with him.  She clenched her jaw and glared at him, chastising her own weakness, determined not to back down.  Her eyes narrowed, as she sought some stinging barb, some inflection that would make him go away.

"As stupid as sleeping with someone, telling them you love them and then leaving them for five years due to your own selfishness?"

He flinched slightly, and for a moment his even, controlled mask slipped.

"Yeah," he replied, "Not quite that stupid, but pretty damned close."

Hilde flushed, feeling foolish.  Timidly, she picked up her fork and began to cut at the cooling pie.  She wasn't really hungry, but the action allowed her to turn her attention away from the sombre features of the man opposite her.  Stabbing a square of crust, she dipped it in the melting ice cream that had been placed decoratively to the side of the dessert, before putting it into her mouth.

"Duo doesn't deserve this, Hilde.  You can't just walk out of his life without giving him some form of explanation.  He may come across as the loud mouthed, happy go lucky optimist but we both know he's more complex than that.  During and after the war, he could have very easily succumbed to his own darkness.  But he met you, and you were his light.  If you leave him, Hilde, it will destroy him."

Hilde swallowed hard, the sweet tasting pastry leaving a sickly taste in her mouth.  She chewed her lip, her expression sullen, as she processed Heero's words.

"Duo's strong, Heero.  Stronger than you think.  And you overestimate his feelings.  He just needs time to move on, that's all.  In time, when he meets someone else and he has a family of his own, he'll look back and thank me.  I can't let him give up what he truly wishes for in life for me.  I could never forgive myself."

Heero's cynical stare bored into her, apparently unimpressed with her line of reasoning.  She pursed her lips, glaring at him. 

"Okay then, Heero.  Tell me this.  Why did you come back? You did a damned good disappearing act for a while there, and you could have remained that way… so why did you come back?   If Trowa hadn't started to get just a little close for comfort to Relena, would you have stayed away?"

Heero blinked at her, disconcerted as she turned the tables on him.  He was quick to recover himself, however, and he gave her a level glare.

"Don't try to change the subject, Hilde.  What happened between Relena and myself has nothing to do with this."  

She frowned at him.

 "Yes.  Yes, it does.  It has everything to do with it.  Why should I listen to you, after what you did to her? How you hurt her?  You're being a hypocrite."

"You should listen to me BECAUSE of how I hurt her.  You've seen for yourself what can happen when you selfishly make choices for other people.  I was lucky.  I got to go back, repair the damage I had done.  You need to do the same Hilde.  While you still can."

She dropped her fork onto her plate with a clatter, before pushing the food away with an expression of distaste.  Her stomach clenched painfully and she felt a dull ache in her chest.  Her throat felt tight with the effort of trying not to cry, and the next words to cross her lips came out in an almost feeble squeak.

"How can I go back, Heero? He will never forgive me."

"He'll forgive you.  He loves you." He gave an almost imperceptible grin, "Besides, if he doesn't, I'll just have to kill him."

Hilde gave a short, gasping laugh at the somewhat glib remark.  Her expression became serious again, however, at Heero's soft proclamation.

"He loves you Hilde.  Children, even marriage, are only one element of a relationship.  And you're both still young.  You shouldn't be so quick to give up hope."

A refined voice resonated from the loud speakers, announcing that shuttle number 257 would be departing from dock 7 in one hour and that all passengers were advised to make their way through customs.  Hilde froze, glanced nervously at Heero, fingers clutching the edge of her bag.  He arched his eyebrow at her, his gaze questioning.

"Well?"

******

Quatre sighed slightly as he set another stack of paperwork aside.  The files were the bane of his existence, but at least they were helping to pass the time.  Looking across the room, he watched as Duo muttered in his sleep, one arm flung across his face while the other hung towards the floor.  The couch did not appear the most comfortable of beds, but at least he had finally fallen asleep.  Quatre frowned slightly however, as he doubted his friends' dreams were permitting a great deal of rest.  

A slight chiming from the ancient clock face indicated the turning of the hour.  Quatre's heart sank.  The shuttle was scheduled to depart well over an hour ago, and there had still been no word from Heero.  Sighing, he stood, stretching slightly as he moved to the kitchen for more tea.  It was then that he heard the click of the front door, and a slight creak as it swung open.

Heero appeared weary, shoulders slumped and his face, as always, impassive.  Quickly glancing to see that Duo had not yet woken, Quatre's inquiry was whisper soft.

"What happened? Where is she?"

******

The soft caress had no place in such a miserable and haunting dream.  It seemed to chase the darkness away, so feather-light, so loving.  It drew him from his fitful slumber, and he teetered between sleep and wake, unsure from which realm the touch resided.  His subconscious feared the loss of it.  

It brushed against his forehead, smoothing his bangs, slow and reverent.  The shadows and mist shrank back, vanished, and he allowed himself to be drawn to consciousness by an embrace only one individual could bestow.

He blinked slightly, his mind still hazy as he squinted against the artificial light of the room.  Her expression was melancholy and apprehensive as she traced the lines of his face with her fingertips.  Still half asleep, he wondered slightly at what could have made the apparition so unhappy.

"Hey Hil," he mumbled, his throat dry "I had the worst dream."

She nodded slightly; as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.  His voice shook as he continued.

"I had a dream that you left me."  

******


	10. “Are you sure it was a good idea just le...

**** **What Ever Makes You Happy**

Much to the G-Boys relief… I don't own Gundam Wing. Tra La La

Chapter Ten 

"Are you sure it was a good idea just leaving them like that?"

Gracing Quatre's question with a low grunt, Heero rolled his eyes as he swung open the front door.  Carelessly tossing his keys on the small table, he made his way down the hall, mentally shaking his head at Quatre's habitual concern.  

"We didn't need to be there.  They have to talk things out, and we'd only be in the way."

Not stopping to see if his houseguest had followed, Heero paused as he saw a soft patch of light beneath the sitting room door.  He frowned to himself, as he nudged the door open.  He should have known she would be incapable of going to bed, and he doubted that her current hunched position in the large armchair was doing her posture any good.  Someone had draped a blanket over her, and she now clutched a corner of it to her chin in an almost childlike way.

"I tried to get her to go to bed, but you know how stubborn she is."

Heero smirked, barely acknowledging Trowa's presence in the corner of the room.

"Don't I ever."   

Disturbed by their low exchange, Relena stirred slightly, the blanket dropping back into her lap.  Frowning, Heero stepped forward, quickly gathering her into his arms.  She curled against his chest, tucking her head under his chin and sighing softly.  He pretended to ignore Quatre's soft smile, simply turning wordlessly to the door.  Had Relena been awake, she would have chastised his complete lack of hospitality towards their guests, but he didn't really care.  It wasn't like they didn't know their way around.  Besides, he had more important things to take care of.

******

Her stomach turned uneasily, and she fought the urge to take flight, as she watched his bewildered expression clear, replaced by an intense stare that seemed to pierce her very being.  The slow caress of her fingers ceased, as they were firmly clasped in his, and as she backed away from him he simply gripped them harder, following her until they both stood facing each other.  

"You came back."

The statement allowed little room for argument, as she found herself wrapped tightly in his possessive embrace.  She squirmed against him, forbidding herself the luxury of surrendering to his touch, and with some effort she was able to push away from him.

"Duo… Duo, we need to talk."

He sighed, his arms dropping to his sides as he stepped back.  Looking away from her, he sat back down on the couch, his arms crossed firmly against his chest.

"Okay.  Fine.  So talk."

Stunned to silence, Hilde stood frozen as she looked down at him.  A burning sensation at the back of her throat warned her of the encroaching tears, but she knew there was little she could do now to stop them.  The first tear teetered momentarily on her lashes, before slipping soundlessly down her cheek.

"It was a part of you.  So precious and special.  I wanted it more than anything, and I lost it before I even knew it was there."

Her words were soft, choked, and Duo strained to hear her.  She held her hands clasped before her, kneading her fingers in distress, as if the motion would help to force out the mess of words and emotions in her head.  He ached to hold her, to take the pain away, but he contained himself, afraid he would simply frighten her back out of his life.

She hiccuped, the tears flowing freely now, swaying as the fatigue of the last few days finally became too much for her.

"I'm sorry.  I'm so… so sorry.  I just want you to be happy, to have everything you want in life, for everything to be perfect.  And I've ruined it, ruined everything."

Her legs seemed to give way beneath her, and she collapsed to her knees, an image of despair.  Unable to hold back any longer, Duo knelt before her, cupping her tear streaked face in his hands.  He brushed his thumb under her eye, wiping away a lingering droplet.

"You shouldn't be sorry, Hil.  This is my fault; I'm the one to blame.  You never would have boarded Libra if it wasn't for me, and then you never would have been injured.  I got you into this. I did this to you.  You have every reason to hate me.  I don't deserve you, I know that.  But please… I love you.  I can't live without you.  I'd do anything if you'd just stay."

Hilde shook her head, pushing his hands away from her.

"You don't mean that Duo.  It's not your fault; none of this is your fault.  Please don't think that."

Duo's dark eyes took on a determined glint, as he grasped her shoulders firmly, his jaw clenching as he glared at her.

"I'm not letting you give up on me, Hilde.  You're not allowed to make this decision on your own.  I love you, and I know you love me too.  Anything else is irrelevant.  I asked you to marry me, and if my memory serves, you said yes.  That means we're in this for the long haul.  We may not have exchanged vows yet but as far as I'm concerned the promise was made the day you put that engagement ring on your finger.  

This is just a test, Hilde, a bump in the road.  There are going to be more.  But there's only one person who I want to walk life's highway with, babe, and it's you.  Whether we walk it together, or with a few extra little feet, is in Fate's hands and not ours.  But we're going to walk it anyway, so quit fighting."

She gazed back into the blazing depths of his eyes, mesmerised.  She felt him take her hand, and found herself unable to resist as he slid the familiar band of gold onto her ring finger.  He leant forward, the warmth of his breath caressing her cheek.

"Marry me, Hilde.  Marry me tomorrow."

Her soft agreement had barely left her lips, before every thought was erased from her mind by the press of his lips against hers in a passionate, desperate embrace.

******

"Did you find her?"

He could tell by her hushed voice that she was still half asleep, but it amused him that her thoughts automatically focused on the problem at hand.  He nodded, refraining from comment as he pushed through their bedroom door, simply setting her down on the edge of the bed.  She blinked up at him, frowning at his lack of information.

"Well?"

As if oblivious to her question, Heero pulled the carefully arranged covers back, before he began to unbutton her blouse in a business-like manner.   Perplexed, Relena allowed herself to be undressed by her apparently detached partner.

"Um, Heero, what are you doing?"

"Going to sleep.  You have a meeting in seven hours… in case you've forgotten."

Relena's eyes widened as he switched off the light and pulled her under the covers with him.  

"But Heero… what happened?"

She heard him, as he sighed into her hair, his arm tightening around her waist.

"Things are going to be fine."

******

"Say, babe?"

Hilde lifted her head from where it rested on Duo's chest to look up at him.

"Why exactly DID you come back?"

Smiling to herself, she curled closer to his warmth, breathing in his familiar scent.  

"Let's just say that your Best Man is very persuasive."

Duo blinked, his brow creasing.  

"Heero? Wha…?" He was silent for a moment and then, "Did he threaten you?"

Hilde giggled at the indignant rise in his question, and she began to stroke his chest as if to pacify him.

"Oh course not.  We just talked.  It was very… enlightening.  Relena's a lucky girl."

Duo sighed, as he lifted a hand to run his fingers through her dark hair.  

"Not as lucky as I am.  And she's an angel to put up with him.  Grouchy bastard."

Hilde laughed, poking him playfully in the ribs.

"I'm not going to listen to that kind of talk anymore.  You owe him big time now buster."

She gave a wide yawn, her eyelids finally surrendering to sleep.  

"So… what did he say?"

"That, my love, is between Heero, myself and a rather unappreciated piece of pie."

******


	11. “Take care of her”

**What Ever Makes You Happy** Epilogue 

"Exactly who had the half baked idea of a wedding in the middle of the night?"

The grumbled complaint was cut short, replaced by a low grunt of pain prompted by a sharp elbow to the ribs.

"Give it a rest Wufei," Sally hissed, grinning at her partners' dark glare, "It's beautiful… and you know it." 

Wufei rolled his eyes, rubbing his side as he continued to mutter mutinously.  Sally was, of course, right.  It was beautiful.  Set in a secluded glade, lit by a scattering of fairy lights and watched over by a million stars and a magnificent full moon, the setting had an almost ethereal atmosphere.  

The gathering was small, involving only a very select group of close friends and acquaintances.  The Best Man stood calmly beside a Groom that was literally set to explode with nervous tension.  He hopped from one foot to the other, fidgeted with his collar and methodically cracked his knuckles.  Heero shot him a pained look.

"What?"

"You do that one more time, and I'll make sure you don't have any knuckles left to crack."

Duo grimaced at his friends idle threat, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and missing completely Heero's sympathetic grin.  Any display of ill humour, however, was all but forgotten, with the arrival of his bride.  He almost forgot to breath, as he was spellbound by the vision before him.  

The elegant, antique lace dress fell just above her knees, softly complimenting her slim figure.  As she stepped closer, he could see the delicate petals of her bouquet tremble in her unsteady grasp.   He controlled the urge to touch her, as she came to a halt beside him, instead studying the tiny white flowers that had been woven through her ebony locks.

Taking her slender hand in his, he felt the shiver that seemed to travel through her entire body as she stared timidly up at him.  He squeezed her fingers gently, expressing his love to her without words.  She returned the gesture, her smile deepening, as any hint of apprehension dissolving at his touch.  He captured her with his gaze, neither of them wishing to secede, as the celebrant began the service.  

Relena sighed softy as she watched the display of affection from her place behind Hilde.  Glancing to her right, she smiled softly as she noticed Heero's apparent air of nonchalance.  A closer look at his eyes betrayed the intensity of his gaze.  As if feeling the weight of her stare, he glanced across at her, the corner of his mouth tipping up in a soft smile.  

Duo required little prompting from the celebrant when it came to kissing his new wife, and the embrace was passionate and possessive.  

"Are you ready babe?" he whispered into her hair.

"For what?" was Hilde's breathless reply.  Duo grinned down at her, his fingers gripping hers tightly.

"For the rest of our lives sweetheart.  For the rest of our lives."

******

Relena gave a martyred sigh, as she flopped down into Heero's lap, glaring at the floral arrangement in her grasp with mock severity.

"They had to have rigged it."

Heero grinned into Relena's shoulder as he pulled her against him, pressing the prized garter into her hand.  

"You make it sound like a conspiracy."

Relena pouted playfully, as she swatted the bridal bouquet at him.

"And it wasn't?  I swear all the other girls ran in the other direction when Hilde threw this.  And the guys weren't exactly tackling each other for that garter either."

Heero tutted in her ear, laughing softly.  The sound sent shivers down her spine, warming her.  She snuggled closer, pressing her face against his neck and breathing in his goodness.  Her fingers stroked the lapel of his jacket, almost absently.  

"Has anyone told you just how cute you are in that tux?"

"Oh yeah," came his reply, his voice droll, "the guys were pretty impressed.  I'm hoping if I get really lucky, I'll manage to score tonight.  What do you reckon? I hear the Matron of Honour is a sure thing."

Relena raised her eyebrow at him, her expression sceptical.

"Why, who ever told you that? I have it on good authority that she's of a most chaste disposition and very unlikely to be swayed by a suave devil like yourself."

Heero grinned, as he blew softly against her ear and ran his hand along her thigh, under the hem of her dress, causing her to shiver.

"Oh course," she sighed, "If you keep that up, she may just change her mind."

He laughed again, low and relaxed.  The sound thrilled her, and she thought briefly of how much she loved to hear it, before he dropped his lips to hers and turned her attention to other things.   A deep cough, followed by a clearing of the throat, brought them back to Earth with a start.

"Geez, I hope we weren't interrupting anything." Duo laughed, watching as Relena flushed deeply, tugging her skirt down and straightening her hair.  Heero merely shot him a dark look.  Hilde smiled apologetically at them.

"We were going to head off soon, but we wanted to see you before we went."

Relena gave a small gasp of exclamation, as she jumped up to embrace her friend.  Heero stood behind her, taking Duo's offered hand in a firm handshake.  The American's gaze was intense, as he appeared to struggle to express his gratitude.  Heero merely nodded in return, signalling his understanding.

Hilde looked at the couple, reaching to take each of their hands in hers.  She glanced at the ground for a moment, attempting to control her emotions.  Upon looking back up, there was no mistaking the sheen of tears that glistened in her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered, "I don't know what we could have ever done to deserve such good friends.  We're blessed."

Relena smiled back at her, before glancing nervously at Heero, who nodded slightly.  Reaching into her purse, she drew out a small card, which she pressed into Hilde's hand.

"It's not something you need to think about yet… or even at all… if you don't want to.  But… well… medical advancements are being made everyday and… well… he is the best…" Her normal gift for words deserted her, as she fumbled over her explanation.   Heero interrupted her, his discourse level, matter-of-fact.

"You shouldn't give up hope.  When you're ready, go see him.  He may be able to help."

Heero stood shocked for a moment, as Hilde threw her arms around his neck with a sob.  Recovering quickly, he returned her embrace with an almost brotherly squeeze.  After a few moments, the two couples broke apart, as the Bride and Groom's transport announced it's arrival with a beeping of the horn and the crunch of gravel.  

Turning towards the driveway, and the waiting party of well wishers, Duo stopped in his tracks at Heero's parting words.

"Take care of her." 

His expression was serious, and his voice certain as he replied,

"I will.  I'm never letting her go."

******

A/N – And there we have it… the end at last.  *faints* That just took a hell of a lot longer than I had intended.  Note to self – finish fics BEFORE the busy season at work starts… *sighs*

_Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and particularly those who took those extra few moments to review.  Your kind words, encouragement and enthusiasm have meant so much to me.  This fic had a special place in my heart, and it touches me to know that it has had the same effect on others.  _

_I have a few other fics to continue in this arc… but first I'm going to attempt some unchartered realms with a new fic I'm working on, a Roman AU fic.  Let's just say I'm both excited and nervous about that one._

So once again, thank you… and I hope you will continue to read and enjoy my future offerings.

_Love Melodrama_


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